1. You get micro abrasion on your face because you’ve wiped the sweat off so many times with your wristband while training. Your face now hurts.
2. Your back looks like it’s got mini-carpet burns because you ran a lot with a 7kg backpack jostling up and down your back.
3. Your whole body resembles a living billboard for Leukotape.
4. You constantly find yourself in the company of people who ask each other, “how many laps are you doing today?” because, you know, one or two laps around the reservoir can’t seriously be enough.
5. Your calf muscles have grown to “spinsterhood-causing” proportions:
6. You finally realise where Alfred Hitchcock got his inspiration for that trademark shower scene in Psycho. Basically he went for a very long run one day, unknowingly got some abrasion marks, stepped into the shower, then had a great big scream when he turned on the water. Then he said to himself, “screaming in the shower can be epic. Let me make this into a movie.”
7. You are eating up kilometres like it’s afternoon cake. So much so you feel increasingly like a Mileage Pacman, comme ça:
This is either a mileage-crunching Pacman or a very bad case of food poisoning.